"Any man can grab a woman by her hair. Throw her onto the bed. Rip her clothing off, tie her up.  Call her names and have rough sex with her.

That’s not dominance.  That’s rough sex, maybe even violent sex.  And if she’s into it, it can even be fun sex.  But that’s not true dominance.

True dominance is whispering softly in her ear, and observing as she obediently removes her clothing, methodically, one piece at a time.  Watching as she kneels before you and offers her body to you, willingly, without reservation.

Showing you her most vulnerable parts without embarrassment or shame, and knowing nothing makes her happier, then making you happy."


I am a Dom. I have been a Dom (relationship dominant) for 25 years.  In that time I have come across many women who are successful in their careers, have attained position and power, dress in the nicest of clothes, belong to the trendy health clubs, drive the status cars, run in all the right social circles, dine at the right restaurants, date the successful and powerful men and yet still carry a certain emptiness inside. A longing for that “something” which is not provided by the current politically correct, emotionally sanitized and uber-feminized liberal paradigm. They crave an undeniable sense of belonging, of attachment, of a deep burning intimacy with another human being. A dominant alpha male that can fill the void by making  her feel like a woman deep down inside where her soul resides and is totally open and honest, laid bare and vulnerable to profound human contact, to human warmth, and to connection.

This hunger, this need for spiritual connection and profound intimacy is not satisfied in the contemporary sense of gender neutral, metrosexual, politically correct male and female interaction. 


To my best friend, my soul mate and confidant, my amazing sexual fantasy realized, my wonderfully perfect submissive, my forever partner, and my loving fiancée domestique. To the one who gave me the gift of submission, the joy and peace of true love, the security of commitment, and the confidence and support to go ahead with this crazy idea. 

You are my love, my life, my rock.

Lo ti adoro mio amore.


What do a high-powered Assistant District Attorney, an exotically beautiful French flight attendant, a successful corporate executive, an evangelical Christian in her late 20s, a hospital executive and an international business entrepreneur, beautiful women all and others of similar education, success and physical attributes all have in common?  They have all sought out and given themselves over to be trained in the ways of submission.

Young and old, black and white, Spanish, Italian, English, and Irish. All strong, successful, independent, and beautiful women, (and not at all like the stereotype normally portrayed by the media elite)  These women shared a certain longing for something deep in the soul that career, marriage, religion and  life in general simply did not provide.   Single and married, the ex-wives and wives of the wealthy, the powerful, even royalty. People from a various socioeconomic backgrounds all found their way to the lifestyle that I present here, in the hopes of spreading the love, connection, and sexual ecstasy.  They have discovered the contentment, trust and peace that men and men and women experience in this type of relationship.

You will know your relationship has reached the deep levels when one night she asks you “which collar” you want her to wear when you are going out,

or when she brings you her “house collar” on Friday night in preparation for a close, loving intimate weekend at home.   

This is a lifestyle primer for curious adults, wannabe Italian chefs and aspiring Latin lovers. It is a reflection on a special type of relationship and sexuality.  

This is a book for curious singles or couples who want to safely take those first steps. It’s for those who want to explore without moving too fast, getting hurt or choosing the wrong partner.  

It is not so much a how but a why. It is a book a spouse could give a spouse, or a sister could give a sister, a daughter a mother, a mother a daughter, to help them understand why we live the way we do and what we gain from it relationally.

This text challenges some common stereotypes, biases and paradigms with the intent of encouraging an open mind

The Dom’s preparation before the meal parallels a seasoned chef going to the market for the best piece of

Like a good cook chasing from market to market to get just the right fish, the freshest herbs, the perfectly paired wine.  Just like the chef debating the perfect gelato or the cannoli, there is much for the Dom to consider and plan for.

Your submissive will be excited, scared, anxious, and possibly terrified, any number and mix of emotions.  Your role as Dom is to carefully orchestrate the evening’s activities in a manner that will feed the excitement while reducing the fear; and this is a fine balancing act to be sure. Remember, this is about giving and receiving trust in a way she has never done before.

When you assume control of her clothing you assume control of her feelings, a powerful responsibility for the Dom.  Everything you do is to guide, form, fashion, lead and ultimately control her emotions.  In doing so you grant her a sense of peace, connection and surrender she has never known as you choreograph those emotions into a very sensual dance.  This sense of surrender comes only from an extreme trust.


Women are complex emotional creatures.  The good Dom will understand this and orchestrate her emotions and her sexual desire, just as a conductor leads his orchestra in a series of arias bringing her to a mind-shattering crescendo. Shoes, hose, garters, nightie…  She becomes the canvas that you paint your sexual fantasies on.  In giving herself over to your will she will begin to experience the release of control that will ultimately drive her orgasms to heights she never thought possible.