Why I wrote a relationship / sexuality cookbook

Collared Cooking.   Seriously?  A cookbook counselling better relationships via great sex and loving female submission to a strong, dominant male?  A sex book written in the metaphor of a cookbook?   A discussion starter in seat 3A on the flight to Poughkeepsie?  What were you thinking???

Collared Cooking was an idea that came to me one Sunday afternoon looking at my beautiful fiancé in her simple black house collar happily creating a wonderful, spicy Italian dish.  A collar you say?  You beast.  You pervert! 

Actually not at all; the collar to us is symbol of a mutual respect, of a deeply meaningful connection, of a profound trust between a woman and a man that makes our union an extraordinarily significant one.  And yes, it also signifies her pride and joy in being submissive to her man.

Does she wear her collar to church on Sunday?  No of course not, even though biblically speaking submission is a thing to value and strive for.  Would she mention it at work and ruin the ‘successful corporate business lady’ image?  Uh uh.   Would I mention it to my customers in my professional circle?  I have actually, judiciously, at happy hour, and they have reciprocated with comment and smart phone pics.

That warm and happy Sunday following a night of incredible sex “welded together engaged in “sleep sex,” eight hours of a semi-conscious emotional journey that involves holding, kissing, cuddling, caressing, speaking words of love and commitment all through the night until the time we wake.”* I looked at her and laughingly said “Collared cooking, I should write a book about this.” * (*CC pg. 39) We joked about it a bit and suddenly it hit me that people might just be interested in knowing the truth about a real couple in a Dominant and submissive relationship.  People might want to know the real life reality of the 50 Shades of Grey fantasy.   100 million books and movie tickets is a lot of curiosity.

Still, one does not talk about “BDSM” in polite society or amongst their business peers.  But a cookbook, a naughty cookbook, an avant-garde relationship/philosophy/sociological cookbook; there is something people could discuss in the lunchroom with a smile on their face.   So many points to ponder: 

  • “I read it for the recipes”? 
  • A tome on misandry vs. misogyny? 
  • A guide for men and women in lifeless relationships to once again find the connection, the intimacy long since lost in the hassles and stress of modern day life? 

Much to discuss at your nail appointment.

Collard Cooking is all these things.  In a fashion it is the story of me and my lady; the ‘recipe’ of her evolution from feminist poster child / serial dating business gal to happily collared, sexually satisfied and engaged submissive woman.  It is a book about the psychology of the passion, trust and connection inherent in a submissive relationship and how it benefits both parties.  It is a guide for men who would like to lead their woman to this intimacy.  It works for ladies who want a man like this also.   No fantasy here; all real people, real stories, real photographs presented in a most palatable fashion.  

Mangia!